Reasons Billy Should Knit
Meet my brother Billy. (Call him "Bill.") Bribed with nothing more than meals on the road, a plane ticket home, and a promise to not listen to country music all day everyday, Billy's helping me drive cross-country. He was an obvious choice because
a) he's a student and has time
b) he drives stick shift
c) we're related; I know where he lives.
But he has a host of other qualities that make him a great road trip companion. It seems to me that these qualities would also make him a great knitter.
Here are my Reasons Billy Should Learn How to Knit:
- Spatial orientation - He can rotate three-dimensional objects in his head, which is way more than I can do. This guy can close his eyes and tell you the location and relative speed of every car on the road. Not that he closes his eyes while driving, but think of what he could do with sleeve shaping!
- A sense of direction - I won't embarass my sister by talking about the three hours it took us to not find the movie theater that one time, but let's just say we would have been there 10 minutes early if Billy was with us. Pattern-reading here we come!
- Hand-eye coordination - Tennis apparently isn't "his sport," but he still managed to walk onto his college varsity team. Who wants to p3tog tbl?
- Appreciation of textiles - He claims indifference, but I know better. A guy who carries 2 kilos of baby alpaca around South America for 2 months just because his sister wanted some, well, let's just say it's a good sign. And he sent me stunningly gorgeous from India. Real madras plaid. From Madras. Nope, he's definitely not indifferent.
- Time - Mapquest tells us that we have 42 hrs and 36 minutes of road time. (How do they get the 36 minutes?) Anyway, since we're adding some side trips, it'll probably even out around 50 or so hours on the road. That means Billy'll have about 25 hours of quality time in the passenger seat. Prime knitting time.
- Me as a companion - I know a thing or two about knitting (pause) and we have a lot of together time in the next week. While I'm driving he can knit; while he's driving I can tell him about knitting.
- An appreciation of silence - Billy's the strong-silent type. He won't make mistakes by chatting too much at knitting group.
- Knitting is sexy - For the record, Bill has no trouble getting his own dates. In fact, he's been seen with a girl on each arm more than once. But everyone can use a little help from Russell Crowe, right?
- Gift-giving season - Guys are hard to shop for. Wouldn't he get better gifts if we could give him yarn and Addi Turbos
- A thirst for adventure - He's traveled to at least 4 continents. The Amazing Lace, anyone?