Wednesday, May 31, 2006

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  • Reasons Billy Should Knit

    Help thy brother's boat across, and lo! thine own has reached the shore.
    -Hindu Proverb

    Meet my brother Billy. (Call him "Bill.") Bribed with nothing more than meals on the road, a plane ticket home, and a promise to not listen to country music all day everyday, Billy's helping me drive cross-country. He was an obvious choice because

    a) he's a student and has time
    b) he drives stick shift
    c) we're related; I know where he lives.

    But he has a host of other qualities that make him a great road trip companion. It seems to me that these qualities would also make him a great knitter.

    Here are my Reasons Billy Should Learn How to Knit:
    1. Spatial orientation - He can rotate three-dimensional objects in his head, which is way more than I can do. This guy can close his eyes and tell you the location and relative speed of every car on the road. Not that he closes his eyes while driving, but think of what he could do with sleeve shaping!
    2. A sense of direction - I won't embarass my sister by talking about the three hours it took us to not find the movie theater that one time, but let's just say we would have been there 10 minutes early if Billy was with us. Pattern-reading here we come!
    3. Hand-eye coordination - Tennis apparently isn't "his sport," but he still managed to walk onto his college varsity team. Who wants to p3tog tbl?
    4. Appreciation of textiles - He claims indifference, but I know better. A guy who carries 2 kilos of baby alpaca around South America for 2 months just because his sister wanted some, well, let's just say it's a good sign. And he sent me stunningly gorgeous from India. Real madras plaid. From Madras. Nope, he's definitely not indifferent.
    5. Time - Mapquest tells us that we have 42 hrs and 36 minutes of road time. (How do they get the 36 minutes?) Anyway, since we're adding some side trips, it'll probably even out around 50 or so hours on the road. That means Billy'll have about 25 hours of quality time in the passenger seat. Prime knitting time.
    6. Me as a companion - I know a thing or two about knitting (pause) and we have a lot of together time in the next week. While I'm driving he can knit; while he's driving I can tell him about knitting.
    7. An appreciation of silence - Billy's the strong-silent type. He won't make mistakes by chatting too much at knitting group.
    8. Knitting is sexy - For the record, Bill has no trouble getting his own dates. In fact, he's been seen with a girl on each arm more than once. But everyone can use a little help from Russell Crowe, right?
    9. Gift-giving season - Guys are hard to shop for. Wouldn't he get better gifts if we could give him yarn and Addi Turbos
    10. A thirst for adventure - He's traveled to at least 4 continents. The Amazing Lace, anyone?
    We're leaving today, so wish us luck. 2746 miles to San Diego. And even though Billy thinks this blog thing is a bit crazy, he might change his mind if you leave comments encouraging him to knit. (Or he might not, but wouldn't it be fun?)


    Blogger Marina said...

    Might be difficult for Bill to dive straight into lace (though maybe not since he seems to be very talented and has all the prerequisites to be a knitter), so hopefully, you've packed some extra needles and yarn in the back seat.

    5/31/2006 4:20 AM  
    Anonymous Cara said...

    Have a great, SAFE trip! It would be a blast to drive Xcountry with my bro - but I fear we'd barely make it out of PA before I'd insist on turning around.


    5/31/2006 4:50 AM  
    Blogger JennyRaye said...

    Bon voyage---can one say that about a cross country trip by car? Of course, when one of the travellers is a Naval officer! How's that for rationalization?

    Have a wonderful trip and enjoy the quality time with your bro--even if he never picks up the knitting needles...even though we all know he should and that he'd be great at it!

    5/31/2006 4:53 AM  
    Blogger Pumpkinmama said...

    I can't really fathom how one could do that much driving/riding and NOT knit, really, but what do I know? Hope you have a safe trip, sounds like it will be a very nice brother/sister adventure!

    5/31/2006 5:21 AM  
    Blogger trek said...

    Knit, Billy, Knit!

    5/31/2006 5:28 AM  
    Blogger Liz K. said...

    Oh, Theresa, enjoy your adventure!

    5/31/2006 6:00 AM  
    Blogger Sonya said...

    Have a great trip! Bill should definitely learn to knit. Chicks dig the long ball, er, make that needle.

    5/31/2006 6:00 AM  
    Blogger Jenn said...

    Perhaps he might be "enabled" along the way......
    Drive safely!
    It's only a matter of time Billy....

    5/31/2006 6:02 AM  
    Blogger Jerry & Maxy said...

    Safe journey!!

    Knit on, dear Billy!

    5/31/2006 6:12 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Come on Bill - you know you want to! Never mind that I was never successful in getting either one of my sons to even look at a needle. You're my last chance.
    Dorothy (Missouri Star)

    5/31/2006 6:34 AM  
    Blogger profbookwurmknits said...

    heard you on knittyD
    have a great time
    congratulations on grad.

    5/31/2006 6:37 AM  
    Blogger Toasty Joe said...

    Flitgirl has not even attempted to convince me to learn how to knit. Good luck with that one, T.

    5/31/2006 6:42 AM  
    Blogger Karen said...

    Have a safe trip. Come on Bill, you can tell your (male) friends you were just humoring your sister. But we know you'll love it!

    5/31/2006 6:44 AM  
    Blogger Liz said...

    I, personally, find your list very persuasive, and can see no reason why Bill wouldn't. Besides which, at some point it'll be easier for him to pick up the needles than to listen to all of us cajoling him ad nauseum, right?

    5/31/2006 6:44 AM  
    Blogger Lynda said...

    Come on Bill - you know you want to knit.... and I have a feeling your sister can be pretty persuasive ;b

    5/31/2006 6:45 AM  
    Blogger Carole said...

    Knitting is a fabulous way to pass the time in a car. Go for it, Bill!

    5/31/2006 6:51 AM  
    Anonymous Sydney said...

    It seems to me that the thing to do is to knit something absolutely amazing for him, and only get about half way through. If he has a true appreciation for textiles and hand crafted goods, he'll want the thing finished, at which point you can hand over the needles. It might work...

    5/31/2006 7:06 AM  
    Blogger silverarrowknits said...

    Have fun on your trip!

    Oh, and Bill, you know you want to knit. All the cool kids are doing it.

    5/31/2006 7:16 AM  
    Blogger Nonnahs said...

    You may as well give in, Bill. You know it's just a matter of time until she gets ya! ;)

    Have a safe trip!

    5/31/2006 7:29 AM  
    Blogger Lolly said...

    What a post! I will have to show this one to DH in order to convince him as well ;)

    Have a wonderful (and safe) trip!

    5/31/2006 7:47 AM  
    Blogger Jocele said...

    Have a great trip. It's important to have good driving/knitting companions. Critical for a good road trip. Drive safe.

    5/31/2006 7:58 AM  
    Blogger Stephanie said...

    Have a safe trip. I think Billy should definitely take up knitting. It's a very manly and practical thing to do. Self-sufficient even. Like chopping wood and hunting.

    5/31/2006 8:20 AM  
    Blogger Marsha said...

    Geesh Bill, give in already, you know she's gonna wear you down anyway! Think of all that prime-knitting-time in the car. I can invision a new sweater by the time this trip is over with...well...ok maybe a scarf in the school's colors is more like it. But what a better way to relax!

    5/31/2006 8:22 AM  
    Blogger margene said...

    I've been teaching a very eager man at our SnB and he is already designing his own patterns. It's just a scarf but men are very good at knitting because they approach it like construction jobs. Come on Bill...give it a try. What have you got to loose?
    Be safe, enjoy your travels and give me a call if you drive through Utah!

    5/31/2006 8:40 AM  
    Anonymous Kris said...

    C'mon Billy, you really need to learn to knit!

    5/31/2006 8:58 AM  
    Blogger theflitgirl said...

    Oh Toasty, haven't you ever heard of the surprise attack? I'm just lulling you into a false sense of security.

    And as popular with the ladies as Billy is, he could become a bionic dating machine with some sticks and string.

    Have fun you two. Call from Car Henge. Or the Studebaker museum (ah! traumatic flashbacks!)

    5/31/2006 10:11 AM  
    Blogger Pam said...

    Chicks dig it -- Get your sister to cast on for you, and the miles will fly.

    Even if you don't knit, you're a prince & a pal to do this for your sister!

    5/31/2006 10:43 AM  
    Blogger Carrie K said...

    I drove X-country w/my brother, Bryan, from CA to PA a few years ago when he moved. Darn, I should have taught him to knit.

    Learn to knit, Bill! What're you going to do with all that spare cash/time anyway?

    5/31/2006 11:18 AM  
    Blogger Valerie Owens said...

    Knitting, like guitar playing, is one of the sexiest things a guy can do. Chicks will flock to you...

    Have a safe trip!

    5/31/2006 12:21 PM  
    Blogger maryse said...

    i have one better -- he needs to learn how to spin. a whole other set of wheels!

    have a safe trip!

    5/31/2006 12:36 PM  
    Blogger Elinor said...

    I say go for it. My brother actually taught me how to knit. We were bored over a Christmas vacation and passed a yarn store so we decided to try it. He's great with knots and just looked at a knitted sweater and figured out how the stitches were made. My mom cast on for us but he figured out how to knit and showed me. He knit a scarf and got bored, called it quits. I got the addiction. Tell your brother that there are other cute guys who can knit. AND get girls. Why is this hobby so dominated by women, anyway? There is nothing feminine about it. Oh well. Poke him in the ribs with a needle if he won't listen.

    5/31/2006 1:22 PM  
    Blogger JayJay said...

    Bill, if Russell can do it, so can you. Either way, have fun on the drive!

    5/31/2006 2:05 PM  
    Anonymous Kim said...


    There is a long history of men knitting, especially those at sea (they also did all matter of needlecraft and needlework). Join in the fun! Plus, the male-to-female ratio at knitting circles! Assuming you're into girls, that is. I'm encouraging my husband to learn to knit- he likes nautical knots already. Or maybe he can be the spinner in the family.

    Have a great, safe trip cross-country!

    5/31/2006 3:02 PM  
    Blogger Stariel said...

    Think of all the girls you could pick up at knitting groups! Really, male knitters tell me it works well. ;)

    5/31/2006 3:03 PM  
    Blogger Chris said...

    I can't think of much hotter than a guy knitting. Oh, baby baby baby oh...

    5/31/2006 9:15 PM  
    Blogger Lorraine The Knitting Hammy said...

    Tell him knitting increases the sex drive.

    6/01/2006 6:12 AM  
    Blogger amanda said...

    You guys have a safe trip! And Bill should knit -- it'll be a good way to meet women.

    6/01/2006 6:27 AM  
    Blogger cindy said...

    Have a safe trip!!! Knit, Bill, Knit!!!

    6/01/2006 7:57 AM  
    Blogger Dorothy said...

    Bill. Ever notice that your name has 2 l's?
    And those l's look like 2 sticks? Two sticks? Nah, 2 knitting needles.
    It's your destiny - knit :)
    Have a safe trip!

    6/01/2006 12:18 PM  
    Blogger Larjmarj said...

    Boys should knit, chicks dig guys that knit. If only I could convince Mr. Larj.

    6/01/2006 5:49 PM  
    Anonymous Rachel said...

    I always insist that the boy equivalent of knitting is whittling, but that sounds messy for the car.

    Knitting aside, your brother sounds great! Care to introduce us? Or, um, introduce him to me and my husband? Crap.

    6/05/2006 2:22 PM  

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