Gone, But Not Forgotten
You were a beautiful pattern, a nice idea to knit flowers for Mrs. Dalloway, and a lovely color of orange. But knitting two strands together to get gauge was an annoying habit of yours that I could not look beyond. Maybe you would have softenend with washing, but your cotton was just too rough to be as soft as I need a scarf to be, and I never understood why you wanted to be 6% nylon. I always saw that measley 6% as a fear of fully committing to being yourself. For now, Flora, I think it's best that we part company, take a break from each other. Some day, perhaps, when I'm living in a sunnier and warmer climate, some day I might be able to appreciate you for who you are. Until then, good-bye, Flora, good-bye.
Don't try to pretend that this is all about me and my "issues." I knew you were never attracted to the nylon part of my personality, never understood that my roughness is the source of my strength, and that without it, I wouldn't have those fun little fuzzy bits. But no matter what you don't "get" about me, I saw you with that Fair Isle Floozy the other day. You and that soft merino wool in five colors so cozy together - did you think I would miss that? The whole world saw it. The photos were all over the internet. Even your parents could have seen them. Aren't you ashamed of yourself?