Issues with Argyle

It's not easy being green.
-Kermit the Frog

Argyll, Scotland looks like a truely lovely place. Really, it does. And there's a certain classiness to argyle patterns, a timelessness even. In fact, the NYTimes Styles Section had several argyle vests this weekend (sorry - can't find the link). Then there's that cute pattern from Knitty. Granted, they speak of "drunken" argyle, but still. And not only is there an Argyle, NY, there's even a town called Argyle, TX.

So why, after 8 hours of knitting argyle diamonds, am I left with a big pile of tangled yarn and 2 inches of 2x2 ribbing?

For those of you who are going to jump in and tell me that I should just give up the ghost and forget about it, let's back up a few steps: It's a requirement for the TKGA Master Knitting Level 2. My thoughts and motivations regarding this program are a whole 'nother apple-in-my-eye post, but suffice it to say that I need to knit argyle socks.

Things that Have Gone Wrong So Far:

1. No pattern. Go ahead. Search. Try to find a pattern for argyle socks. The Socknitters' one calls for DK yarn. I have fingering. They call for 3 colors, TKGA calls for the "traditional" 4. Every other chart I find has no relation whatsoever to my 76 stitches.
   
2. Splitty yarn. KnitPicks Essential. The price is right, the colors fun and contrasty (MC=Ash, CC1=Grass, CC2=Pumpkin, plus purple diagonals). But it splits like crazy.
3. I can't count.
4. Two orange diamonds should not be next to each other. I should not knit for 2 hours before figuring this out.
   
5. 8 inch dpns. Intarsia needs to be knit flat. I have neither US1 circulars or straights that I can find, so the stitches keep falling off the ends.
6. What is traditional argyle anyway? This is the big question that's holding me up right now. I would be delighted to have a sock with a single chain of diamonds running down the front instead of all-over argyle. It's elegant in it's simplicity, classy, it still shows my intarsia and duplicate stitch skills, etc. But the only thing worse than making one pair of argyle socks would be making two if they don't accept the first one.
   

Continue in Kind has dubbed 2006 "The Year of the Frog." So far, that's what it's looking like around here - our knitting is definitely not sailing smoothly underway . . .